My Safe Place [Josie]

[astrid alexandria henio]

“

If Astrid had thought the teasing and bullying had been bad before, it was nothing compared to what she was undergoing now. Sure, being a mousy, timid witch in a house full of loud and brash Slytherins made her a prime target. But being a disgraced, disowned Pureblood who had (apparently pretty publicly) run away over the summer had all but painted a bullseye on her back.

It was something she was used to, at least for the most part. She'd put up with six years of it already, so what was one more, right?

But now the comments were a little more pointed, the shoves and jostles in the hallway a little more rough. People didn't have Tavas or her parents to worry about messing with when they messed with her anymore, and there was a lot more to work with when it came to picking on Astrid now. Omar Krum had even made her cry after Transfiguration the day before. 

She needed an escape, and Josie was always the perfect escape. Even if it was for just an afternoon, away from the castle and away from the people that made her life hell, everything would be okay, if she was with Josie. It had been late at night when she'd written Josie, sneaking to the owlery to send her letter by the early-morning light.

Not long after she had written Josie, Astrid had realized what a monumental mistake it had been to ask her girlfriend to meet her in Hogsmeade. Surely Josie wouldn't want to come, wouldn't want to revisit the place she'd been captured, where her life had been permanently and irreparably altered. Astrid was being selfish by asking. Josie was healing, was trying to put her life back together, and Astrid shouldn't have asked her girlfriend to come back to a place that held so many terrible memories just because she was alone and sad. 

Hell, Astrid had been halfway through writing another letter to Josie, telling her she didn't have to come if she didn't want to, when the response from her girlfriend almost landed in her orange juice at breakfast. Josie would meet her in Hogsmeade Square that Saturday, and Astrid just had to hope her girlfriend didn't hate her too much for making her come there.

On Saturday morning Astrid was up early, skipping breakfast in favor of being with the first group escorted to the village. Even though she was worried about how Josie was doing, she had to admit she was excited. It had been more than a month since she had seen Josie, and writing was hard. She couldn't say much to her girlfriend when she knew someone else would read it to her. 

Josie was already waiting for Astrid in the square when the group arrived, students splitting off in all directions as soon as Professor Hurley released them. A smile split across her features and she hurried across the space, shying around Josie's guide dog—the thing freaked her out, though Astrid wouldn't admit it. 

"Josie," Astrid greeted, hoping to alert Josie to her presence. She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around her girlfriend and never let go, but she didn't want to startle Josie. 

josie lily potter ● october 15, 2022 ● 539 words ● astrid's outfit

Astrid Alexandria
Henio★

dandy ♫

[josie lily potter]

●●●

josie potter

Hogsmeade.

The thought of going back at all twisted her stomach in knots. It was bad enough that she was planning on living and working in such close proximity to the place where everything had gone so wrong come January- but she’d placated herself knowing she’d never have to set foot in the village again if she didn’t want to. It wasn’t like a blind intern could be assigned supervisory duty over the students. She didn’t even have to think about the place.

That was, until Astrid had written.

Having the enchantment read the letter aloud to her wasn’t the same as being able to do so herself, the magical voice not capable of capturing the essence of Astrid’s, its intonation flat and lifeless. But even in the lackluster interpretation, Josie could feel something stirring about it all. Something wasn’t right. It went deeper than Astrid simply missing her. How Josie knew that, she could only attribute to either Sight or intuition from being so close with her girlfriend, perhaps both. So she’d swallow her fears, try to keep herself together, if only for Astrid’s sake.

Nana Weasley had knocked over the teapot in shock when Josie had asked about meeting Astrid during the upcoming weekend, but had considered it a great stride in recovery, and had volunteered to arrange an Order chaperone before Josie could refuse. She had mixed feelings about that, she wasn’t a child who needed supervision- but she was weak, frail, and valuable. After all, lightning could still strike the same place twice. Though the morning of the visit, Josie didn’t have the same dread she had the fateful day last April when the village had burned, when her misstep had shattered her world. It was dread, sure, but purely from her gut rather than her Inner Eye screaming at her.

It would be fine.

It would be fine.

Josie repeated it to herself like a mantra, but was still visibly tense when she arrived in the square, seemingly alone, though an Order member lingered discreetly closeby. The palm of her hand wrapped around the handle of Arya’s harness was slick with sweat, there were too many people here, their auras loud in a way she couldn’t describe.

“Josie,”

They seemed to quiet all at once in favor of soft pink, the warmth of sunlight despite the dreary overcast day.

“Astrid,” said Josie, managing a smile despite the swirling emotions within her. She reached out with her free arm, bringing her close. She seemed okay, maybe less thin now than she’d been in the summer, but Josie still couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. Nevertheless, she inhaled deeply, as if she could breathe Astrid in- her shampoo, her perfume, her whole being. “Are you okay?” Josie asked softly.

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[astrid alexandria henio]

“

Josie looked okay, all things considered. She was definitely tense, and Astrid could see that from across the square, though that was obviously to be expected. She was standing up straighter, and wasn't as painfully thin as she had been when Astrid had kissed her goodbye the morning of September first. That was a good thing, and Astrid let out a breath of relief at seeing that. Josie was okay, and she was here, and she was okay. THat was all Astrid could ask for.

“Astrid. Are you okay?”

Astrid could have cried in that moment; she had known she missed Josie, of course, but she hadn't realized just how much she had missed her girlfriend until she was here, in arm's reach, and was saying her name. Instead, she managed just a shaky breath, shoving down all the tears that fought so desperately to the surface.

Now that Josie knew she was there, Astrid through her arms around Josie's neck, allowing her girlfriend to pull her close. She tucked her face into the crook of Josie's neck, breathing in her scent and focusing on the moment. Her eyes fluttered shut and for the longest time she just embraced her. This was all she had wanted for weeks, since leaving for Hogwarts, really.

"I am now," Astrid whispered, at last letting go of Josie and taking a half-step back. She did keep a hold of Josie's free hand just yet, however, not quite ready to relinquish all of her contact with her just yet. "Thank you for coming. You didn't have to if you didn't want to, you know."

josie lily potter ● october 15, 2022 ● 269 words ● n/a

Astrid Alexandria
Henio★

dandy ♫

[josie lily potter]

●●●

josie potter

Josie waited for a reply, Astrid seemed to be hesitating, her voice was thick- had she been crying? Or trying not to? She kept her free arm looped around her waist, trying not to frown. Astrid would tell her if there was something really, truly wrong, but Josie didn’t like her being so upset.

“I am now,”

Josie smiled, dropping a peck on Astrid’s cheek before she stepped back, their fingers interlaced. The contact was nice, Astrid’s hand warm in her own, it was affection rather than someone trying to steer her when she didn’t want them to. She just hoped her girlfriend either didn’t mind or didn’t notice the claminess, Josie had yet to fully quell her nerves, even knowing that someone from the Order was close by to ensure nothing happened. There had been plenty of Order in the village that day in April, her brain was keen to remind her, and plenty had happened then. She swallowed the lump of nerves that had formed in her throat.

"Thank you for coming. You didn't have to if you didn't want to, you know."

“No, I wanted to see-” Josie began, stopping suddenly with a sinking feeling in her chest. She couldn’t see Astrid, not really, the bitterness surprised her, she’d been so busy trying to figure out how to exist in the world again to truly mourn what she had lost. It wasn’t fair. She swallowed again. “I wanted to be with you,” Josie corrected herself, giving Astrid’s hand a squeeze. “Did you want to go for some tea? Warm up a bit? Feels a bit dreary, doesn’t it?”

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[astrid alexandria henio]

“

“No, I wanted to see—I wanted to be with you. Did you want to go for some tea? Warm up a bit? Feels a bit dreary, doesn’t it?”

Astrid didn't miss the way Josie paused mid-sentence, realizing her verbal misstep. Astrid couldn't imagine how hard it must be, having to navigate the world in this new way and having constant reminders of the sense she had lost. A frown touched Astrid's lips as she thought about it. Maybe she should have stayed home with Josie to help her. She could have taken a year off school, maybe done her schooling from home, or else not graduated at all; it wasn't like she really needed a school degree, anyway. She shouldn't have abandoned Josie when Josie needed her the most. 

"Tea would be nice, yeah. I passed by on my way here, smelled like they were baking cinnamon buns," Astrid replied with a nod, though remembered with a pang that Josie wouldn't be able to see that. Instead she gave Josie's hand a squeeze. Her girlfriend would be able to feel that, at least. 

Glancing down at the dog Josie was with, Astrid took a half-step back as it looked her way. She hadn't interacted with the thing much, and to be frank it made her nervous, but she wouldn't voice that. Josie's cousin had gotten it for her to help her, and Astrid wasn't going to mess that up for her. Astrid had never been around animals like the dog before, but she supposed she would have to get used to it sooner or later. 

But besides wandering if the thing bit, at that moment Astrid was wondering if it knew where the tea shop was. Astrid didn't want to assume Josie needed her to lead her there—Merlin knew Josie would hate that, she had always hated people assuming she needed help—but she also had no idea just how Josie was doing with navigating the world now. 

In the end Astrid gave Josie's hand a little squeeze, deciding to wait for her girlfriend to decide what was best. Her thumb traced gentle circles on the back of Josie's hand, and for the most part she just soaked up being her with her girlfriend, enjoying moments like this. Moments out, where everyone could see them and where there was no need to hide. Six months ago Astrid would have been terrified, pulling Josie into side alleys for stolen moments together, scared her parents would catch wind, but there was none of that now. Astrid could be with Josie always, no matter who was watching. 

josie lily potter ● october 15, 2022 ● 433 words ● n/a

Astrid Alexandria
Henio★

dandy ♫

[josie lily potter]

●●●

josie potter

"Tea would be nice, yeah. I passed by on my way here, smelled like they were baking cinnamon buns,"

Josie nodded, her interest, or at least that of her stomach, already piqued. Food was a simple pleasure, one she found she could still enjoy- something which Nana Weasley had been all too eager to indulge her in after her escape from the Kindred. It had taken a few months, but she was beginning to fill out again, being something more than skin and bone. With the return of flesh, energy too began to return- Josie was restless, fidgety. It seemed the energy she did have went more to fuel the anxiety, the terror of the world around her, try as she might to bite it back. The mysterious workings of her Inner Eye certainly weren’t helping, of late it seemed that it never shut.

“Well that sounds nice, would you want to split one with me?” Josie asked, making a feeble attempt at conversation. If she remembered correctly the cinnamon buns at Puddifoot’s were roughly the size of her head. They had yet to start walking, Josie in the back of her mind was still attempting to get her bearings, she hadn’t been back to the village since the day she was taken from it. Learning how to navigate it all over again when she couldn’t see it was a tall order. Complicating things further were the rebuilding efforts, some shops simply weren’t where they used to be, shifted to new buildings, or abandoned, the burned husks of their remains hauled away- leaving empty square plots.

Josie listened, picking up on the babbling of the fountain through the general din of the students running about, they weren’t far from the center of the square then, but for the life of her she couldn’t remember which pathway from the fountain was the right one, nor could she discern which way she was actually facing. Her usual stubbornness, however, made her want to figure it out on her own, but it was beginning to be drowned out by the fear. “I, erm, it’s that way, yeah?” Josie stammered, picking a direction at whim and tilting her head towards it. It was as close to asking for help as she was going to get.

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[astrid alexandria henio]

“

“Well that sounds nice, would you want to split one with me?”

Astrid brightened a little at that, glad to see Josie was feeling a little more like herself. When last Astrid had seen Josie, she had been thin and sickly, barely able to keep much food down. It was good to see that her appetite had returned and that she was up to going somewhere like Madam Pudifoots. Perhaps that light Josie had always had burning so strongly within her had been dampened by the Kindred, but it hadn't gone out entirely. It was a hopeful sign, something Astrid latched on to and clung close to her chest.

For a long moment, Josie seemed frozen in place, indecision flickering across her face. At last, though, she seemed to choose a location at random, head jerking towards a side avenue.

“I, erm, it’s that way, yeah?”

Astrid chewed on her lip, looking towards the street Josie had motioned to, and then the street Madam Pudifoot's was down. In the end, she decided not to say anything, giving Josie's hand a gentle squeeze before tugging lightly in the correct direction. As soon as her handler had started in a particular direction, Arya took it as her cue, traipsing off across the cobblestones and towards the side street. 

There was something liberating, Astrid found, about walking down the streets of Hogsmeade hand-in-hand with Josie. It was all she had wanted for so long, to be able to be herself and hold on to the girl she loved, no matter who was looking or who might be whispering behind her back. All of her secrets were out in the open now, after all. She didn't think she had felt so light in a long time.

The line at Madam Pudifoot's stretched halfway across the bakery, but thankfully there were plenty of open seats inside still. It seemed most people were taking advantage of the cool day and were taking their tea and pastries to the outside patio. Astrid fell into line beside Josie, taking the time they stood their to look over at her girlfriend.

"I really love you, you know that?" The words slipped from her lips before she could even register she'd said them aloud, but still they made a smile bloom across her thin lips. Astrid loved Josie Potter, and she would scream it from the rooftops for anyone to hear if she could. 

josie lily potter ● october 15, 2022 ● 404 words ● n/a

Astrid Alexandria
Henio★

dandy ♫

[josie lily potter]

●●●

josie potter

Astrid, both knowing Josie and having an emotional intelligence beyond her years, didn’t say anything to her guess, instead just lightly pulled her in the right direction. She was grateful for her girlfriend’s intuition, it had always been hard for her to admit when she needed help with anything, and it went doubly so now. Josie didn’t want to be a burden because she couldn’t see, but Astrid didn’t seem to suggest that she was. Arya fell into pace beside her owner, the chocolate lab fully invested in her work in navigating them across the square. The dog couldn’t lead her when she didn’t know the way, but her diligence made passage safer, stopping at street corners or guiding her around rubbish bins or cracks that might twist an ankle.

They were quiet on the walk over, but it was more the comfortable sort, one that wasn’t necessary to be filled. At any rate, Josie was diverting most of her attention to staying calm and staying upright. Allegedly, there would be an Order chaperone hanging about, though it was hard to pick up on that with the business of the village- too many overlapping auras and conversations, it was hard to keep everything straight. But for Astrid, she would try.

The pair made it to the teahouse, Josie thankful to get inside off the streets. The air in the bakery was warm, the cinnamon scented aroma enveloping her like a hug. Her stomach rumbled accordingly. Presumably there was a line, based on how far Astrid led them into the building, but Josie found she didn’t mind. This was okay, they would be okay, nothing was going to happen this time. She repeated the thoughts almost like a mantra as they waited, interrupted only when Astrid spoke.

"I really love you, you know that?"

Josie grinned, squeezing Astrid’s hand before lifting it to press a kiss against their laced fingers. Her anxiety was still a low thrum in the background, but she had begun to settle at least a little. “I love you more,” Josie insisted playfully. It was mushy, but she didn’t care.

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[astrid alexandria henio]

“

“I love you more.”

Despite herself, a bright smile stretched across Astrid's face at that. Every time Josie said those words, it was like the first time she'd heard them. Beautiful, melodic, like everything was right with the world for just that moment. It was the same feeling she had each time she looked at her girlfriend, only tenfold as bright and warm. If this was what love felt like, then Astrid would hold that feeling close to her chest, cloak herself in the feeling like armor, and never let go. 

"Thank you, for coming today," Astrid whispered, reaching up to brush a lock of hair from Josie's face. She stood on her toes and pressed a gentle kiss to Josie's lips. "I know I shouldn't have asked you to come here, after everything that happened, but... I'm glad you came."

It was hard being vulnerable, even with Josie. So much of Astrid's life had been spent shoving down her emotions, shoving down her thoughts and feelings in the pursuit of perfection, in pursuit of being the person her family wanted her to be. It was liberation to not have to force herself into such a box, to be the person she had never wanted to be, but it seemed that old habits died hard. Even after saying something so simple, Astrid found herself wanting to lock all of those feelings away, to tuck them into a neat little corner of her mind and ignore them. 

josie lily potter ● october 15, 2022 ● 246 words ● n/a

Astrid Alexandria
Henio★

dandy ♫

[josie lily potter]

●●●

josie potter

"Thank you, for coming today,"

Josie flinched when Astrid’s fingertips brushed the side of her face, moving to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear, but the startle was short lived, and she was eager to melt into the touch. Perhaps it could be nice, to pretend they were normal for a little while. Josie hadn’t felt normal in a very long time, if normal for her even existed anymore. Her world kept getting turned upside down, flipping around just as she got used to the current orientation.

"I know I shouldn't have asked you to come here, after everything that happened, but... I'm glad you came."

Josie frowned, trailing her hand up the side of Astrid’s face to eventually rest her index finger against Astrid’s lips, playfully shushing her. Her anxiety was still thrumming, being here in this place where her world had been forever shattered, but she didn’t want Astrid assigning herself any guilt over it. Josie knew she needed to face her demons, she couldn’t hide away forever, no matter how appealing it seemed. “You’re allowed to ask me for things,” Josie said simply, dropping her hand to search for Astrid’s again. When she found it, she threaded their fingers together, her thumb gliding a slow, steady path back and forth across the back of Astrid’s hand.

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